At the start of this year I have decided to start a blog, a place to share my thoughts and find community with those who read it. I have been feeling a need to belong. I visited my family at Christmas and it helped me feel that feeling of belonging my soul was looking for. As soon as I said good-bye to my family I felt very sad. I felt such a loss and cried and wondered why I had such a hard time living away from them. I knew I needed to find a place of community and have that sense of belonging in the place where I presently am.
For me that connection comes by asking God, "What am I missing?", then listening to His reply. He told me that first I need to spend time with Him. Secondly, I need to have "communion" with others. I need to ask and hear what Jesus is doing in your life. This is a way that we "break bread" together. So, I ask you, what has Jesus been doing in your life lately? How are you experiencing Him today?
Wonderful. I look forward to keeping up with you here. To answer your question, God has been growing my confidence in who I am. He's asking me to jump forward in some ideas and passions I have and to let him figure out the logistics of it all. The balance of ministry, family and work seems unbearable, but I know if he's calling me to it, he will help me balance it. Love you Michelle, remember I'm just a phone call away, day or night :)
ReplyDeleteHi Michelle :) I can think back on the past year and different times when I've seen you at base meetings or around, and I just gotta say - you are such a beautiful and amazing woman. I love your sense of humor and your passion to know and walk with God and your genuine friendship. All that to say (first of all) that I am SO blessed and thankful you are part of our community here at YWAM Chico!
ReplyDeleteTo answer your question about what Jesus has been doing in my life and how I'm experiencing Him today... I'd say He's been reviving me/refreshing me as I spend more time in His word again. For a while there, I felt so drained and so stretched and so alone that it was all I could do to remember He was with me and choose to let that be enough to carry me through. But now, I am excited again. Sure, there's still stuff that feels stretching or draining - but it's like I have fresh grace for it. I think of the words in Philippians 3: "...that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings..." There's something sweet and powerful and deeply personal about the place He has me right now in relationship with Him, and with my friends and family and whoever else He chooses to put in my daily path. He is so worthy of all my praise, and I am so grateful for His intimate friendship with me!
Thank you for putting your heart out there and sharing it, Michelle. Your thoughts and your writing has always inspired me, since were girls. I agree with all that these women have said to you, I couldn't say it better, what they have said of you, and what I can relate to in what they have said about what Jesus is doing in them right now. Thank you creating a place for community to grow here! :) God has allowed me to come to a place of brokenness this week... it is not fun or easy, being broken... but there is a sweetness, a tenderness, a depth, a fullness that I know here, that i do not know when my heart is not softened... I'm still processing, but I am so grateful for the tenderness and patience of the Lord's loving hand today. Thank you, sweet sister, for encouraging me to think on such things!! I love you!!
ReplyDeletewow, i left alot of words out, sorry!! ;) hope it's not too confusing! :)
ReplyDeleteOh man! you ladies made me cry! Thank you for your replies! i had hoped for some but didn't really expect it! haha!! :) You know, it is really incredible how I can also say that I have experienced all of what you three have been experiencing. That commonality amazes and encourages me! Thank you, Amy, for your friendship. I will have to call you sometime. Elaine, your love and words make me cry. Thank you for that! Danae, you are a wonder to me. how did I ever get so blessed to have you and April as my sisters?? (Really crying now.)
ReplyDeleteIn our community worship time this morning I heard from God as we waited on Him. He told me be obedient and keep seeking Me. I also could feel myself striving at first, to "worship", thinking of people watching me, trying to look a certain way, thinking too much about what I should do that nothing felt natural. I stopped and just began to worship from my heart. It felt so great. Even if all I do is just sit there and do nothing or stare off into the distance; or if I just rad and think about the words and let my tears express more than i could speak or sing...that's what He wants, right?:)
ReplyDeleteRight! :) I am honored to know you, Michelle, and call you a beloved friend. A bosom friend :D
ReplyDeleteHi there Michelle! I am so glad you posted a link to your blog on Facebook. It's good to hear from you and read your heart. :)
ReplyDeleteUsually I enjoy learning from God - listening to Him speak and getting those little nuggets of truth. But I have experienced a lot of loss this year. So when I am experiencing God lately in quiet time, I feel like He isn't necessarily speaking to me or 'teaching' me, but in a very raw and organic way, He ministers with a healing balm on my heart. Just being in His presence can be so satisfying. It's amazing how easy it is for me to forget that or not make time to sit before Him and just acknowledge that He is here. Immanuel.
Hope you are doing well!
Hi Charity! I hope you are having a wonderful, restful Saturday. I really enjoyed seeing and reading your reply to my blog! Yay!
DeleteMy heart empathizes your loss and rejoices in the simple trust you are experiencing with God at the same time. I like how you are simply opening your heart to Him and being with Him. Sometimes that is all we need, isn't it?
Sometimes everything and everyone seems so loud, like there is way too much talking going on around me or coming out of my own mouth. That's when I know I need to get more rest or quiet my heart to hear Him speak.
I love what you wrote- thank you for sharing it with me and I pray you have more of those moments with your Dad.
Love you, friend.
-Michelle